Special Champions
A Champion can stay at Muffinville Castle indefinitely, or until he or she is defeated in a Muffinville Championship Challenge!
Certain benefits apply to Champions. Not only can they requisition cash out of the Muffinville tax reserve, they are also exempted from every law in Muffinville, and also they can make their own laws and apply them to anybody except the Mayor.
George Bush, who founded the the Muffinville Championship, has selected three Special Champions who don't have to leave Muffinville Castle even if they lose a Championship Challenge! They are:
Violet Carbonara Bing
Violet is a half-Italian half-Muffinviller
who worked at McDonald's for a while after high school before she was made Special Champion.
She has been awarded the prize for Most Interestingly Shaped Body in Muffinville at four 4th of July-celebrations in a row.
Violet is impossible to prank. Her ungullibility is why Bush selected her as First Champion: It is so strong that he might be able to employ her at the CIA and use her as a weapon against the Taliban.
Marcus Eisenhower
Marcus became Special Champion when George Bush suffered a health situation at the movie theater and Marcus managed to call an ambulance in time to save his life.
Marcus wishes he could spend all his time either being at school or doing science in his dungeon laboratory, leaving less than 10% to eating, sleeping, and trying to get Violet's attention.
Shaka
Shaka is a female who always smiles and likes everybody. She has apparently always lived at the Castle and is Special Champion by default.
She's constantly smoking a blend of herbs manufactured by her friend Ron (see "Satan" below).
Other Champions
Mike Tyson
Mike saw that there was a fight and won it.
The Parasite (w/Secret Weapon)
The Parasite (or Pie) became Champion to make Muffinvillers read more books.
It becomes clear early on, however, that her Secret Weapon Usama has certain other, smellier items on her agenda.
Maki
Obsessed with Violet's legs, Maki came all the way from Japan for her sake, even if she was not previously aware of him existing.
Other Residents at Muffinville Castle
Dr. Malev
Though commonly considered an evil entity, Dr. Malev is known to love kittens.
George Bush
Much loved in Muffinville.
Other Muffinvillers
The Mayor
Closely surveils everything going on at Muffinville Castle.
Not From Around Here
Satan
Also called Ron, from Ïsron SabinarÏ, his real name. Satan is his religious name. His level of evil/good varies with his mood: on a scale of 1 to 10 he rarely gets eviller than 2. At this level he's liable to get into sword fights and kidnap people at negligible provocation.
Ron resides at Hell Mansion outside Muffinville, where he keeps a harem and manufactures cigarettes for his bitches. The way to enter his harem is to snoke one of these cigarettes.
Ron's harem is not a harem in the traditional sense of the word and appears to serve no purpose other than startling and confusing those Muffinvillers who get accidentally exposed to his cigarettes.
Ron is the natural enemy of Yava and turns extremely evil if he sees her.
Yava
Entered the Muffinville Championship to overthrow the Mayor and gain absolute power in Muffinville.
Hellomuffin! A Study in Total B.S. by Ingrid Skard is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Norway License.
